Degrees Celcius
by crazythatcounts
Summary: Carlos was gone for months. When he returned, he had discovered something about himself, and he wasn't sure how to deal with it. (Spoilers for Old Oak Doors Part B. Offshoot of Canon Storyline.)
1. Return Policy

" _And so, with heavy eyes and still beating hearts, those left at the Alright All Night Extravaganza have started to leave, too exhausted to continue to dance, even as the music continues. There are no reports of it intending to stop, and after so many people danced themselves to death in the early hours, the latecomers are making a good decision. As for the robot, well, if music be the food of love, play on. Tune in next for the sounds of heavy breathing, and the undeniable feeling that you're being watched. Goodnight, Night Vale. Goodnight."_

 _~o~o~_

It had been several months, and they'd stopped calling him. He was alright, he promised he was alright, he _insisted_ in a gruff and grumpy voice that he was alright and that nothing was wrong and that everything was in fact _fine_ , and there was nothing much more the people of Night Vale could do, really. Cecil wasn't distraught, at least not visibly or around those that cared, and didn't need anyone's help - the burden of his loss was his alone to bear, and he was dealing fairly okay with it, at least in public. No one knew how he fared when he was alone, but it wasn't their business, really.

It was a late hot, muggy evening, classic Night Vale weather, and Cecil was heading home. He had to get home soon, as he was expecting a call when he arrived - at nine o clock sharp, which was more or less the only time Carlos called, no matter when he dialed. He could dial an hour after a call and speak to Cecil twenty-four hours later, because for some reason his phone kept perfect time - Night Vale time, anyway. It had been a particularly hard day - a dancing robot killed several people, and every slow song Cecil felt his heart break a little harder, because in any other circumstance he would have been dancing with his boyfriend in the studio - and as the minutes ticked closer to home, Cecil was ready for the evening call to his boyfriend.

It was 8:15 by his car's clock as he pulled into the driveway. His place - his and Carlos's place, mind you - was somewhere between a house and an apartment, small and a definitely better alternative to a condo, and there were no lights on the front stoop as he keyed inside. It was cold, as Cecil liked it. Cold and dark and full of shadows that were haunting in the midnight hours. He didn't bother to turn on a light, passing a tower of books stacked on the kitchen table. He checked his phone - 8:30. He still had time - he could make a cup of coffee, or fix a snack to keep him awake, something for after the call was finished.

Well, he thought he did, but just then, his phone rang. It was odd, because no one dared call Cecil after eight these days, as Cecil was usually generally against the idea of being held up into Carlos's call time. No one made him miss that call, and especially on a night like tonight. But lo, it was ringing, and he was so ready to get this person off his line, and his phone... read Carlos's number? Immediately, Cecil flipped the thing open.

"Carlos?" Cecil tried not to sound slightly panicked - this didn't happen, it just didn't. They had a schedule. Carlos never called early. It wasn't possible, even for Night Vale standards - they'd proven that it was only nine, and no other time.

"Cecil-" Carlos was in and out, part static, part slight panic. "I don't- what's going on, I- sick to my sto-" The phone hissed a long moment, before returning, "-Dizzy, light headed-"

"Carlos, you're-you're breaking up." Cecil tried, speaking loudly, like maybe if he was louder Carlos would hear him better. "Carlos?" He was scared, honestly so scared, because Carlos had been nearly taken twice now and Night Vale wasn't so forgiving, so it was only a matter of time before Carlos was gone permanently.

"Cec- I'm sink- I- breath- I love-!" With a hiss, and a crackle, the phone went dead. It was quiet for a long moment, deathly so, as Cecil simply stared at his phone. This was it, this was his worst nightmare. He had come to terms with Carlos existing only in the desert void, knowing that at least there Carlos was alive, but now... he was gone. Gone for good. And he didn't get to say goodbye, didn't get to say he loved him, nothing. All he had left was a phone. Just a phone. He clutched at it, grip threatening to break it - which said a lot, it was a Nokia after all - and forced back the surge of grief that bubbled in his throat like hot lead. He fought it, and he didn't know why, it just felt right to fight it, bite it back, keep it at bay. The phone case creaked a little.

And then it rang again. Cecil slowly looked up at it, almost angry now, that welling grief slipping into brief hatred, arms all tense and ready to fling the phone... but it was Carlos. Again. Mood suddenly shifting from anger to panic, he struggled to flip it open, hands shaking now, tears slipping from his eyes unwanted.

"Ce-" The phone was still crackling, broken static more prominent now.

"Carlos!" It was, in fact, Carlos he was hearing, or maybe a ghost - though ghosts generally had their own phone carriers and didn't take their numbers to the grave with them - but it was Carlos's voice none the less, and that was a welcome sound. "What happened, you just hung up. I... I thought you were dead." It was a heartfelt admittance, and a request, that he wasn't dead, and that he was really calling and not a ghost.

"I don't- what happened, I-" Carlos coughed, and it was clear from what could be heard that he wasn't okay, but he was alive. It was clear he was tired, and hurt, and feeling unwell. "I'm lost- I see... sand." He groaned over the phone, the connection crackling and threatening to break them up again. "My phone-dying-think-home-" It slipped into a long moment of static, before coming back slightly clearer than before. "It smells... like home-feels- home, feels right. Can... you come get me?" He was meek, exhausted, and Cecil was already out the door as he spoke. It was... wonderful. Worrying, of course, Carlos sounded awful, but wonderful, just fantastic, and Cecil was at a loss for words for a long moment, which was rare for him.

"S-Sure." He couldn't help the softness to his voice, nor could he hide the hiccup of suppressed tears. "I'll... I'll find you." Cecil nodded, hands shaking too hard to open the door, fist clenched against the metal. "I'll... I promise, I'll find you."

"I think-sand wastes." Carlos murmured, sand shuffling over the phone. "I see- sandworm. Small sandworm." He was fading, it was easy to tell he was fading, energy dying quickly.

"I'm on my way right now. Just. Stay awake, okay?" After taking a moment to let his hands shake a little less, Cecil was in the car, engine purring softly - literally purring - as he sped out into the sand wastes, speeding so fast that the Sherriff's Secret Police probably couldn't catch him. And god help them if they did, because nothing was getting between the radio host and the scientist. Nothing. "Stay on the phone with me. I'll be right there, I just need you to stay on the phone."

"I-feel well." Carlos murmured. "Phone almost dead. But-try, for you." It was almost possible to hear a smile in Carlos's tired voice, even as his phone audibly yelled at him that it was dying.

"Please try." Cecil forced a smile, so it would carry over the phone. At least he hoped it would - that's how the radio station worked, anyway. "I'll be there shortly, okay? Just hang on a moment longer."

"Cecil, I-" Carlos sounded urgent, energy forced into his voice. "Sorry, its-" And the phone went dead again, for a second time this evening. But that was better than the first. Cecil knew he was going to have a slight issue finding Carlos with his phone being dead, of course, as the wastes were wide and wild, but it wasn't going to stop him. Not even a smiling god could stop him.

The sand of the wastes was silver in the half moonlight, the cacti dark foreboding figures dotting the landscape like sentinels in the dunes. His car only capable of going so far into the wastes, Cecil was forced to hoof it to go further, deeper, and he had to. He had one clue - the sandworms, mutated reptiles that burrowed in the dunes and lived only at the far reaches of the wastes - that spurred him on, still clutching desperately at the phone he hoped would ring one more time.

He searched for hours, almost the entire night, before he found Carlos, tucked into the bottom of a dune a few miles outside the wastes proper. The poor thing was half buried in the sand, legs covered by the particles blown in on a harsh desert North wind that bit at Cecil's arms and face. It was hard getting down to him, the sand shifting wildly under Cecil's feet and nearly sending him head over heels, instead sliding him down the dune feet first. He scrambled up, crawling over to the half buried scientist. Carlos looked in bad shape. Something had beaten the hell out of him, his perfect jaw bruised, his perfect hair mussed and sandy. He had a swelling right eye, and sand had congealed over cuts on his cheeks and nose. His glasses were gone, probably buried in the shifting sands, and his lab coat was torn at the bottom. Cecil gently shifted the scientist into his lap, checking his forehead with his hand even as Carlos stirred.

"You came." The scientist's lips were chapped, and his voice hoarse. "I knew you would."

"Nothing could have stopped me." Cecil replied, brushing the bangs from Carlos's forehead and running his hands through the sandy hair. "We should get you home. You have a fever." Cecil shifted, getting a footing under him so he could stand. "Can you walk?"

"I don't know." Carlos smiled, his teeth still perfect, and tried to shift his legs under him. He grimaced, obviously hurting from somewhere as he put weight on his right leg, letting Cecil guide him to his feet. "I think so." He nodded. "I think I fractured my right tibia. But it's not bad." He shifted his weight up, trying so hard to help Cecil carry him up the unstable dunes, but having little effect. Cecil didn't mind carrying his boyfriend, of course, but even he was ready to admit getting up that first dune was a struggle and a half. Once up, it was mostly flat, and they could hobble at half the pace Cecil searched at.

"Can I ask... what happened?" Cecil finally spoke again, the wind now much harder at their backs. "You called... early. At eight thirty. And then just hung up." Cecil kept a hand firmly on Carlos's back, mostly for support but partially just to remind himself that Carlos was even there. "I thought you were gone for good."

"Cecil." Carlos smiled, his tone a tired, half chide. "You know a scientist is always fine. And I am a scientist." He nodded, softly. "It's interesting I managed to call early, though, scientifically speaking, because the desert behind the doors was behaving strangely all day. When I punched in your number, it was weird, I just felt... strange all of a sudden. Like I was seasick. Dizzy and sick to my stomach, you know, from the inner ear imbalance. Except nothing was moving, and I'd been on level ground for days. And when I reached you, the phone reception went out almost entirely, and the ground just... opened up, and I fell into it." Carlos shrugged as best he could. "I blacked out, and when I woke up I was here."

"You knew you were here, and not the desert." Cecil half asked, smiling a little. "How did you know?"

"Well, for one thing, my battery wasn't full anymore." Carlos chuckled. "That, and I... just knew. I could just tell. It was like walking into the house after a really long day at the labs - I didn't realize Night Vale has a _smell_ to it until I'd been gone. It's very distinct. It's the only town I know that has a smell to it."

"What does it smell like?" Cecil was honestly curious as, having never left Night Vale (except for Svitz, of which he didn't remember details like smells), and not planning on it in the future, he wouldn't ever get to experience this smell.

"Like... home." Carlos sighed the phrase, partly for affect and mostly because he was exhausted beyond compare. He was leaning on Cecil heavily, and his eyes were drooping, brow furrowed like concentrating enough to walk pained him. After that, he didn't speak again, and Cecil didn't press him to, only holding him a little tighter around the middle, like he might disappear entirely if he let go.

They walked like this for several hours, during which time Carlos slipped in and out of consciousness, making Cecil half drag him at some points. Eventually, they reached the car, with the dark morning sun just barely touching the horizon. Exhausted and unable to dig for his keys with one hand, Cecil helped Carlos to sit on the hood, and, after a moment - in which he found his keys - he sat down next to him. Carlos was mostly conscious, but leaned heavily on Cecil's shoulder as they sat. "You know," Cecil started, softly. "I never thought I would get to see another sunset, let alone a sunrise, with you again." He reached up, running his fingers through Carlos's hair. "I don't know what brought you back, but I am _never_ letting anything take you away again."

"Don't say that." Carlos was drifting off, so his speech was slightly slurred. "If I can't ever go back there again, then I can't prove that it's scientifically there, 'cause you gotta science things a lot of times to... prove it's science." And with that, he was asleep, out like a light against Cecil's shoulder. Cecil chuckled.

"Of course." He shook his head, the better knowing parent agreeing for the sake of the child, fond and sweet. "Let's go home." He had to work to lift Carlos from the car, as he was the smaller of them, but he eventually got Carlos into the passenger seat and slipped into the driver's seat, starting his engine and letting it idle for a moment, the sun pink against the sands. "Let's go home."

The drive was long, and when the car pulled back up at the house it was light again, the sun tickling the roadways with warm light. Carlos had slept the ride, occasionally murmuring to himself and looking worried in a bad dream most of the way, and while Cecil was capable of getting Carlos into the car by himself, he was incapable of getting him _out_ of the car. So gently, he shook Carlos awake, and the scientist took a long moment to come back to reality. "Carlos, we're home." Cecil said, keeping his hand on Carlos's shoulder like an anchor, like maybe Carlos wasn't all there anymore, and he didn't entirely come back, and he needed help staying.

"Home." Carlos smiled, leaning back against the seat. "Good." He closed his eyes, and Cecil shook him again.

"Come on, stay awake a moment longer." Cecil chuckled, quickly getting out of the car and opening Carlos's door. "I need your help."

"A scientist is always ready to help." Carlos reached up, letting Cecil support him like a child as he clamored out of the car, nearly toppling them both on his weak, broken legs. Once out of the car, it was not too hard to half drag Carlos to the stoop, _up_ the stoop, and to the door. Carlos pressed his head against Cecil's neck, blocking out the light with a disgruntled hum as Cecil wrestled with the door, finally shoving it open.

"You feeling alright?" Cecil asked, concerned, leading Carlos slowly into the room, the scientist's head unmoving against his neck.

"Dizzy." He said, eventually pulling his head away, lifting it slowly and unsteadily. He hadn't been in the house in months, but not much was different. They hadn't really... decorated much, as neither of them had any idea how to decorate a home, nor the spare money to afford having someone do it for them - and, since the only interior decorator in Night Vale was a Pekinese with a fashion complex and a high pitched voice, and since Carlos insisted that it doesn't matter how well she matches her scarves to her fur, dogs are in fact color blind and she definitely identifies as a dog I asked her, they would have to get someone from out of town it would be doubly expensive - but it looked like home anyway. Clean, sparse, books stacked twenty high on the table, kitchen mostly untouched, but a cake sitting perfect under glass on the counter... "You haven't been sleeping." Carlos said, being led to his ratty armchair and sitting in it, glad to take weight off his leg.

"No, not really." Cecil couldn't lie, not like that, not then, so he went for the truth as he fetched enough medical supplies to tidy his boyfriend up. "Not that I didn't try, I just... couldn't." He returned, med kit in hand, sitting beside the armchair and realizing that bruises are really hard to do much about. At least he could clean the cuts on Carlos's face. Carlos didn't question further, partly because he couldn't move his face while Cecil cleaned it and partly because they'd gone that road before. Cecil was very tight lipped about his sleeping problems, and never wanted to talk about it. It was something he had been dealing with long before Carlos came into his life, and all the scientist knew was that for some reason, he helped Cecil sleep. That was as far as he got in a conversation before the radio host shut down and put his "everything on the radio is fine" persona voice, which usually did nothing to hide the sour faces, so Carlos always dropped the subject.

"Well," Carlos said, once he could speak again as Cecil had moved onto his hands. "I bet you'll sleep well tonight. I know I will." He chuckled, exhausted.

"I know I will too." Cecil finished tending to what he could - he had left the leg undone, as he didn't really know a lot about medicine and was just putting Band-Aids on things when needed. "Do you want to shower before bed?" Cecil looked like this might not be the easiest idea for them to accomplish, but he would try as long as Carlos wanted it.

"No, no. We're both too tired to try that right now." Carlos struggled up from the chair, and Cecil caught him before he fell. "Let's just get to bed. Besides, you have work in a few hours." He nodded, like this was important. "I don't want to keep you more awake than you need to be."

"Don't worry about me." Cecil helped him struggle to the stairs, heading up to their tiny bedroom at the top. Technically, it had been an attic area, but since Carlos needed the main bedroom for science, they decided to make it into their bedroom. It was sparse, but comfortable, and quaint. "I think I might call in sick today. Night Vale will understand." Cecil helped Carlos get his lab-coat off, and helped him change gently into his science pajamas, avoiding his leg, which, with pants off, looked a lot worse than he expected. "You just relax, and we can sleep."

"Alright, Cecil." Carlos looked so tired, laying down in their tiny bed, and so inviting, Cecil didn't hesitate crawling into bed with him, wrapping his arms around the skinny waist, pressing his forehead against Carlos's shoulder blades. Finally, finally, he could sleep. He could block out the third eye that plagued him during the night, watched the city sleep while keeping him awake, and he could finally let his mind rest. "Goodnight, Cecil." Carlos said, softly.

"Goodnight, Carlos. Goodnight."

 _~o~o~_

" _...Now, listeners, I feel like I need to apologize for my absence during yesterday's broadcast. I needed to take off work for... personal reasons, which, well... To say the least, it is extremely good news. My boyfriend, Carlos the Scientist... is back! He just, well, sort of appeared late the other night, and it was my honor bound duty to tend to him for a little while, you understand. However, I can say with a glad and grateful heart that Night Vale is complete again, and everyone from that incident with the doors is home, and it is wonderful, listeners. Absolutely wonderful."_


	2. Discovery Channel

" _...It seems that all is finally quiet in Night Vale again. The parasitic worm has been captured, thanks to John Peters, you know, the farmer, and is currently being held in a mason jar in a dark room in his basement. The scientists are still unsure if they want to study it or not, as releasing it may cause another black hole to open up, well, anywhere. Interstellar Worms and the holes they create are still a new science, and I agree that keeping it locked tight is probably for the best. Those that suffered massive losses from the Worm Hole in the middle of town can call in to the Mayoral Office by heading outside and lamenting to the dark night sky only to come to the realization that life is in fact meaningless and your cries mean nothing. Stay tuned next for the sweet release of sleep, followed by harrowing nightmares and a soft voice telling you horrible things about the dark spaces in your home. Goodnight, Night Vale. Goodnight."_

 _~o~o~_

It took a few days for Carlos to get back on his feet. After fixing his leg on Cecil's day off - Cecil was delighted to help with the scientific surgery, but couldn't, as the room had to remain sterile and there was cat hair everywhere which was an honest danger to the surgery- Carlos had to take another day or so to strengthen the bone again and make it work like normal. Luckily, with the help of science, that didn't take too long at all, and Carlos was up and hobbling again on his own legs in no time. Once he was walking on his own, though, there was nothing stopping him, and he immediately started work again, even though he was hobbling around with a cane and it was probably better advised that he rest more. The labs were, of course, happy to see him, and also extremely happy Carlos had been collecting data the entire time he was in the desert void. To them, his excursion wasn't wasted time, and was worth something, and there was something about those words that Cecil found awful sounding. It was probably him.

However, something _was_ up, but it wasn't that. Cecil could tell at dinner a few days later that something was incredibly up with Carlos. Carlos had been back to work for all of three days and, up until that night, he hadn't talked much about all the science he was reacquainting himself with. Usually, Cecil was used to Carlos coming home and blabbering on about everything, only stopping to shove food into his mouth before continuing on. It had bothered him, at first, but he had grown accustomed to it, and at that point he hoped to revel in a scientific story or two in the evenings, since he'd been months without. And with this much experimentation going anew with all the data he'd gotten, it was honestly extremely surprising that Carlos was quiet. So quiet, in fact, that dinner was a little uncomfortable.

"Carlos?" Cecil eventually questioned, done with his meal, having spent the entire time in a deafening silence with Carlos saying nothing at all and Cecil unsure how to start conversation. Carlos looked up from stirring around his instant mashed potatoes, which he'd eaten very little of. He hadn't really been eating dinner a lot, honestly, and that was just as worrying. "Is everything... alright?"

"Of course it is, Cecil. Everything is fine. Scientists are always fine, remember?" Carlos smiled, and it wasn't a forced smile, but it was missing something. It was lacking, just slightly, like he wasn't really feeling the happy behind the teeth. It was an eclipse of his face, the sun visible around the edges of his smile but the middle gone, dark, uninviting and unyielding and unhappy. "Why?"

"You're just so... quiet." Cecil was concerned still, smile not abating his worries. And of course he had reason to worry, and that was the problem, as anything could be wrong. Carlos had come back from being lost forever in a void they knew little about, and he could have all sorts of illnesses or be suffering from a lack of something that didn't come back, or an addition of something that shouldn't have come back, or any other number of things. It wasn't uncommon for parasitic interstellar visitors to hitch onto people traveling through dimensions, like Carlos did, and with what had happened the day before, well...

"I've just had a long day." Carlos sighed, and there it was, the weight that he'd been hiding on his shoulders, making him heavy and melancholy. It was almost visible now, the smile with the eclipse broken now, gone. "It's okay, though. Long days happen. It's scientifically proven that some days are a lot longer than others. Even in Night Vale, where time doesn't work." He was trying to be bright, and happy, and science, but it wasn't working. It was easy to see through it, and Cecil wasn't going to stop being concerned.

"Did something happen?" Cecil asked. He got no response, just Carlos going back to stirring his potatoes and ignoring his food, which was Carlos trying to avoid a subject. That meant something did happen, of course, and Cecil's heart started racing. Most people might have left it, but with how worried Cecil was, he couldn't leave it alone. "Did something happen at the labs?" Again, no response, but Cecil pressed a little harder, taking a stab at a direction, hoping for a response. "Does it have to do with... the desert?" That caused a reaction in Carlos, his hand, once reaching for his glass, knocking it over by accident, spilling water over the table and the glass clattering to the floor. He reached for his napkin and attempted to clean it up, but he was agitated, and gave up quickly. Cecil reached out to take his hand, and he dodged the attempt.

"Can we _please_ leave it alone?" Carlos stood quickly, forgoing the potatoes. "You're right, you're right, something happened, something happened in the desert behind the old oak doors. And I can't explain it, I don't know how to explain it. And neither can they, and I just... I need a little bit. To sort it out, to-to sort myself out, because there isn't a scientific explanation for this, and there has to be." He paused, hands clenched, looking back at his boyfriend with a sad frown, perfect teeth hidden, water dripping softly onto the carpet from the table. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He glanced at the floor, only to glance up, realizing how he sounded. "But-but it's not about you, I promise." He spoke urgently there, reassuring, needing Cecil to know, approaching him at the table where he still sat. "It's not about you, it's-it's not anything to do with us, I just... need to sort this out. Okay?"

"...Do you want to talk about it?" Cecil asked, standing to meet his boyfriend's gaze without him needing to lean down. Carlos's hands were on Cecil's arms like Cecil might run, or leave, or react badly, and Cecil took them and held them gently. "I could help, if you needed it. I'm, well... I know I say I'm into science, and I am! But I'm not... a good scientist. And I probably won't be able to help you science it out. So I don't know if I can help with that much. But I can try? And-and I _can_ listen, and nod, and maybe, you know... Help that way."

"I... don't know how to talk about it, Cecil, that's the problem." Carlos pulled away gently, sadly, heading towards the front door. "Scientifically it's not possible. Scientifically, it's not a thing that happens, and I checked, I asked them in the labs, and it's just not... a real thing. Based in science, based in... in everything I base my decisions around it's simply not possible, not _real_ , and I don't know how to explain it, because if it's not _real_ then what is it?" Carlos turned, hands in the pockets of his casual lab coat. "I... I'm a scientist, Cecil. I'm supposed to be able to explain things. That's what science is. That is the essence of what you are supposed to accomplish with science - answers. And when science can't answer things, I... Before Night Vale, that didn't happen. And even in Night Vale, you just need... weird science to explain it, creative science, but it can be explained, mostly, and it's still _science_. And this... I don't even know how to start with this."

"Well, how about this." Cecil said, slowly approaching Carlos so as not to startle the scientist, since scientists did startle easy. He was being gentle, soft with his words and his approach, and it seemed to visibly calm Carlos. "You take as much time as you need to sort this out for yourself. And whenever you're ready, I'll be here. And we can go for a walk, and you can tell me what's going on. And I can stop worrying you have space worms in your head."

"Well, if it helps I can confirm I do not have space worms." Carlos smiled, reaching out and taking Cecil's hand. It was the first affectionate contact he had imitated since they got home, and it felt good. "I... I'll try and get it sorted enough by tomorrow, okay? Give me that long. And I'll try to explain. I probably won't explain well, but I'll make an attempt." Cecil gave the hand he was holding a squeeze, leading Carlos away from the door and into the den.

"And I will provide the upmost support that I can. As best I can." Cecil sat down on the sofa, pulling Carlos down next to him. " _Unless_ you were mistaken about the space worms. That I don't think I can help with." They both chuckled, relaxed now, the conversation disappearing around them in a mist of Food Network and soft conversation about nothing much at all.

 _~o~o~_

It took another three days before Carlos was ready to talk. He arrived home from the lab late one night, much later than usual, which already had Cecil on watch. He was a bit jumpy these days, and while it was rightfully so, he felt silly none the less, as Carlos always came home. Eventually. When he did arrive, he had a notebook tucked under one arm, and a serious look on his face.

"Carlos?" Cecil asked, from the kitchen. "You weren't home for dinner, so I just had leftovers, but I can warm you something up if you're-" He didn't get to finish as, without speaking, Carlos simply grabbed the host's hand and pulled him back to the door. "Okay, you can eat later." Cecil nodded, following along. He paused to lock the door, and when he turned Carlos was already at his beaten up little car, and Cecil had to jog down the stairs before he got left behind. Once in the car, they idled a moment, before Carlos peeled out of the driveway, speeding heavily down the main road through town.

Cecil said nothing, because he knew from the set frown and furrowed brow of Carlos's face that he wouldn't get an answer, or if he did he wouldn't get much. Instead, he gently reached for the notebook, flipping through it as they drove. It was a lot of science, collected scans of articles and things, and they all... had to do with gender? Well, mostly biological sex, with lots of pages on chromosomes and one that looked suspiciously like a DNA reading labeled "Carlos". He closed the book, unsure, but somehow... ready. Somehow he felt ready to help, even though he honestly had very little idea what was going on.

Eventually they reached the desert, and Carlos swerved hard into the sands, nearly doing a 180 before the car grinded to a halt. Cecil had _not_ been ready for that, though, and clutched at the arm rests with angry cat hands. "Is... everything alright?" He basically squeaked, feeling afraid to let go of the car in case Carlos launched them onto the road or into space or something. With no answer, Carlos climbed out of the car, taking the notebook from the floor where it landed and slamming his door hard. Cecil scrambled out of the car, watching his boyfriend take the notebook and throw it, over handing it as hard as he possible could out into the desert before flopping into the sand to sit. Cecil sat next to him, silently, and put his arm around Carlos's shaking shoulders.

"According to science, I'm not... _complete._ " Carlos finally said. It was a heavy statement, and it hit even Cecil fairly hard. The idea of being incomplete wasn't a new one to Night Vale, as people did tend to be missing things a lot of the time. But to hear that Carlos felt incomplete, to hear he felt unwhole, well, that hurt. And it hurt even worse to think how much it hurt _Carlos_. "I did a lot of research. I looked into everything. And I think... I think I came back missing something important."

"You seem complete to me." Cecil said, reassuringly, comfortingly, giving Carlos's shoulder a squeeze, feeling the muscles tense up under his arm. "Start from the beginning, Carlos. Tell me what's wrong."

"Well." Carlos stood, walking out into the desert in front of Cecil, hands in his pockets. "I guess the beginning is... the doors. When I got trapped, I... I started conversing with the native people. The stone people, you know, Dana's friends. And, Cecil, they're incredibly sophisticated for a race made of stone." He turned around, actually excited for a moment about the science. "They make weapons out of sand and lightning. They forge with lightning storms that come by, and they carve out of rocks with nothing but their weapons and their hands. They're _astounding_ , Cecil, and-and there's a lot of things they don't need. They don't eat - there isn't any food out there, so it's probably some kind of evolutionary ideal that came about through natural selection - and they don't need water or sleep. And I think the desert actually does something to people, because I didn't sleep, either. Or eat. I wasn't ever hungry, or tired, or thirsty. I didn't _need_ these things, though I missed your cooking quite a bit." He flushed a little, smile bright with science.

"And... there were other things they didn't do, didn't need." And here it dropped, fled the scene, his face now lax and almost a little sad. "They didn't refer to each other in third person a lot. They spoke of themselves as a whole, as "we" and "they". And while they look different, they didn't have... gender. There weren't males and females, just... stones. A collective of stones. And they didn't understand what I meant by using male pronouns, and I didn't press it. I became part of the... collective, the "We" and the "they". And then I'd call you, or I'd hear your show on the radio - I still tried to listen as often as I could - and I'd hear _he was a hero_ , which," Carlos flushed, ruffling his own hair awkwardly, "I'm _not_ really a hero, I'm just-just a scientist, um." He coughed, reinstating himself in his story. "But it would sound... weird, honestly. It sounded really strange to hear you use _he_ , and I thought it was just the place and just the fact that I wasn't hearing it elsewhere that was causing it, but then I came back, and... and it stopped feeling weird and started feeling _bad_." Carlos looked at the ground, agitated and shaking again. "It felt... bad, weird bad, to hear the other scientists talking about me using _he_ , and I couldn't tell why, and it was _bothering me_ and I'm not ever really _bothered_ like that, you know," He gestured wildly at nothing, trying to form an example and getting nothing.

"So I started looking into it. What it meant. And I found a lot of things, in the uh," He turned, realizing he'd thrown his research into the desert, and for a hot moment he was so caught off guard he couldn't continue forward. He regained his conversational skills after a second, and continued, "Well, they're in the book, which, I'll just, um... I'm just gonna leave it there. But I found a lot of scientific articles from other people on gender, and sex, and that... " He paused, looking back at the book. "People can change genders, which I already knew, and people can identify as a third gender, which I was vaguely aware of already not being a gender base scientist specifically and focusing more on the paranormal, you know, and I found that a lot of people say they don't _have_ a gender, but when I asked in the lab, since one of them _is_ a gender scientist and they work with that a lot, they laughed and said that... that you _have_ to have a gender, because it's not like you don't have _genitals_ you can't just outright ignore gender, even though sex and gender are in fact entirely different things of course... and, _and_ , they said... even if there was a thing like having _no gender_ , that... people knew. Before. Before they're my age. Scientifically speaking I am too old to be questioning this kind of thing because most people hit puberty between twelve and sixteen and are generally done growing and done learning about their basic bodily ideals by the time they're out of college and compared I'm _old_."

"You're not _old_." Cecil made a face, the first words out of his mouth during all that _protest_ at the idea that Carlos was old. Carlos waved him off.

"That's not the point, that's... that's entirely not the point. I just... I was so _comfortable_ how I was before, you know?" Carlos headed over, sitting down beside Cecil, speaking quietly. "I was _comfortable_ with being male, and it's not like I'm _changing_ genders because _she_ feels even worse, but... I think... I think when I came back from that desert, I left my gender behind." He looked lost when he looked up at Cecil, confused and lost. "I had a gender, I had one. I was male. I enjoyed being male. And then... I come back, and that's gone. I feel empty, like I've got a whole in my chest. I'm not complete, Cecil, scientifically speaking I am an incomplete human being."

"Now you listen to me, Carlos." Cecil took Carlos's hands in his own, looking him right in the eyes. He made sure to keep Carlos's attention while he spoke, earnest and strong in tone. "First, I think your scientist friends need to get out more, because there are people who don't _have_ gender, and that's perfectly okay. There are _plenty_ of people in Night Vale that don't have gender. Some have identified that way for years. Some have had it stolen in the middle of the night. Some left theirs at the beach by accident." Cecil nodded, shifting a little closer, still serious. "Second- If you don't feel comfortable with male pronouns, then, that's who you are now, and that's perfectly okay. I don't know if your gender simply got left behind, but you are _complete_ , and still _you_ and there is nothing missing. You're not wrong, or incomplete, because you've still got a good heart," He gently poked Carlos in the chest, "and a _great_ mind," And he poked Carlos's forehead, "And no matter what you identify as, or don't have, or have lost, you're still my _boyfriend_ , or _sciencefriend_ , or _significant other_ , and there is nothing else that matters." He smiled. "But, if it makes you feel better, we can think of _new_ pronouns for you. It's not fair to keep using male pronouns if they make you uncomfortable, and then once we think of new ones for you, we can get everyone to start using them. Because the most important thing is making sure you're comfortable here." Cecil nodded, smiling softly. "Would that be okay?"

"Yeah." Carlos smiled, brightly, the first time since his return, and then, quickly, gave Cecil a chaste kiss. "I like that a lot."

"Then let's go home and fix you dinner before you forget again." Cecil said, helping Carlos to his feet. "And... is significant other okay?" Cecil asked, softly, as they walked to the car. "I mean, instead of boyfriend, since you're not... a boy so much anymore."

"That works - though I did really like sciencefriend." They both laughed, holding hands tightly as they headed to the car.

 _~o~o~_

 _"Now, listeners, .let us take a moment to talk about gender. Now, for those that don't know, gender isn't a scientific concept. Mostly. My_ ScienceFriend _, Carlos the Scientist, has been doing a lot of research into the subject, and let me tell you, listeners, there is a lot more to gender than just boys and girls..."_


	3. Sleep Schedule

_"What a day, listeners, what a day. I did not think I would see something like this happen in my own town, in my time, but it has. The police officer who injured Michael Everman, the young rising star of the local high school, has finally been detained. The protests, which were indispensable for helping to capture the rogue officer, which, might I add, was removed immediately from the Sherriff's Secret Police and really isn't even an officer anymore, have finally begun to die down. It is hard to say if life will in fact return to normal after this tragedy. It does not matter who the child was - whether he was African American, or white, or Native, or Alien, or disembodied limb - there is no excuse for any officer to use force on a child who wanted to do nothing but buy a snack. My heart, as well as all of our hearts, goes out to the families who have been affected by the passing of this young, promising boy who was unjustly dealt death by someone who had no right to deal it. It will now be up to the family and the boy's peers to decide what is to happen to the ex-officer, who, I hope now, realizes that we, as a town, are more than just people - we are all family. Tune in next to the sound of silence in vigil for Michael Everman, and the knowledge that we, as a town, fight together, hope together and mourn together. Goodnight, Night Vale, Goodnight._

 _~o~o~_

Carlos adjusted to sleeping a full night at home quicker than Cecil did, if the next morning meant anything. Cecil was up before Carlos was, already fixing breakfast and half absorbed in reading some book as he cooked. Upon inspection it was their copy of House of Leaves, which Carlos remembered vaguely as kind of text bookish in places - which was honestly the reason the scientist enjoyed it so much - and not terribly something Carlos would think their boyfriend would like. Carlos ruffled their own hair sleepily, padding softly into the kitchen and leaning on the counter. "Didn't sleep?" They asked. Cecil looked up, taking in his sciencefriend with a soft smile. Even with all their imperfections - for once their hair wasn't perfect, tousled on the top, their face still scratched up and smile crooked with sleep - Carlos was still ultimately _beautiful_. "You didn't sleep the other night, either." Carlos said, yawning. Cecil hummed softly, passing his sciencefriend a plate of eggs he had finished moments before, still piping hot. Carlos dug in, hungry, but still listening.

"I'll get there." He smiled, putting the book down on the counter. He didn't fix breakfast and Carlos wondered if Cecil had already eaten. Probably not, honestly - Cecil took a while to really eat, which is why he used to be the second one awake while Carlos fixed breakfast. He looked tired, so tired, and troubled, honestly troubled, and this went past the normal I Don't Sleep Cecil face.

"Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?" Carlos asked, taking the same vein that Cecil took with them. "I mean, scientifically speaking, if there's something honestly wrong, it's better we know?" Carlos didn't actually have scientific basis for that fact - sometimes, it was honestly better not knowing - but they wanted to. Cecil looked at them like an angry cat having gotten a bath, which was unsettlingly angry for this early in the morning. "I'm just worried, Cecil. You haven't slept a night since I got back, and obviously haven't slept much before. Much more without sleep and you'll start hallucinating - that is, if we're not already all hallucinating which isn't something anyone has ruled out at this point - and possibly start passing out at work, or in the car... I just don't want anything to happen."

"I'll be fine." Cecil was grumpy, but not _angry_ , which was good. Slightly miffed was an emotion Carlos understood, though usually it involved Steve Carlsberg. "It's just taking longer than normal for me to adjust. That's all." Cecil had his _I have accepted this fact and will now defend it with my life_ voice on, which boded ill for more conversation.

"What if it's not all?" Carlos stepped forward, empty plate left behind. "I know I've asked why you don't sleep well before, and I know you dealt with it before me and I don't-I don't want to intrude into a good thing, but it feels like it's not the same thing anymore, and if I can help, even a little, I'd... I'd really like to." Carlos tried to put a hand on Cecil's arm, but the radio host shrugged away. "I know you don't want to talk about it, and that's honestly okay. But everyone always knows their own body best - and that's science I can prove that in a lab because it's science - and if you think anything is wrong, anything at all, anything not normal... I just want to help. If that's okay." Carlos pulled back, a little sheepish that they were forcing themselves on Cecil, but eventually their hand was in their boyfriend's tightly. Cecil wasn't grumpy so much as obscenely _worried_ himself, which honestly said a lot.

"I'll make you a promise." He said, taking the scientist's other hand. "If, in a week, I'm still not sleeping well - and so you know I am _sleeping_ , just not a lot, so don't worry about me getting into an accident because of _that_ because that's the least of our worries in terms of car accidents - I promise we can sit down and have an honest conversation about that particular facet of my being." Cecil smiled, almost a little sadly, like he _really_ didn't want to talk about it but knew in his heart that they would get there eventually. "Not only does that rule out me taking longer to adjust than normal as a general, _scientific_ , explanation, it also gives me time to think about... _how_ to talk about it." He was almost a little loath to admit that he needed to think on how to talk about the subject, but he did need it.

"Cecil, I'm a scientist." Carlos smiled broadly, stepping into Cecil's space with a flourish of their lab coat pajama top. "You don't need to pick words to tell me things, I'll understand. Besides, I like hearing you talk." It was a compliment, truly, but something flickered behind Cecil's eyes for a moment, and Carlos _knew_ _instantly_ he'd crossed some line. It was like there was a brief second of _heat_ around Cecil's face, the shimmering air of a hot summer's day, like a mirage without an image, and then Cecil was sighing, anger completely gone in that moment.

"Just let me do this, _okay_?" He was exasperated, kind of sassy, tired, and Carlos didn't push any further. "I need to think about it. Because... because of a lot of reasons and none of them have to do with science." Cecil sighed, leaning heavily against the counter, and Carlos shifted next to him, putting their arm around him softly.

"Whatever you need to do. I'll be here." Carlos pulled Cecil slightly closer. "I'm not going anywhere else, so you have all the time you'll ever need. Okay?" They lingered a moment, both of them, in this loving embrace between two people, the soft contours of Cecil's side meshing with Carlos's waist.

"So." Cecil changed the subject, unmoving. "I know we went to bed last night without any real progress, but... have _you_ had any startling revelations on what pronouns you would want to use?" Cecil shifted away from the counter, pulling Carlos gently along into the den. "Even if it's just deciding what you want your new identity to be, if you want one at all? Besides the usual male gender, female gender, third-mixed-gender you mentioned."

"I, well." Carlos flopped onto their recliner, and Cecil sat on the arm, swinging his legs into the scientist's lap. "I had a dream that everyone accepted my identity when I told them I identified as science." They chuckled. "And... I kind of like that."

"So, science pronouns?" Cecil smiled brightly. It was interesting, something he'd never heard before, but he figured he could pick up using just about anything that was requested of him in good time as long as it wasn't some kind of tongue twister. "As in... pronouns that come from science? That suits you, I think."

"Nothing about me is more true than the fact that I am a scientist." Carlos looked elated, absolutely elated, that they had stumbled on this idea in a dream. "Are you a boy, they ask? No no, I'm a Scientist." Carlos was honestly proud of themself. "Even my coworkers would have a hard time arguing with me, because they _know_ I'm a scientist, so by refusing whatever pronouns I choose or my identity they're saying I'm _not_ a scientist which is a lie."

"So, then." Cecil slipped into Carlos's lap, comfortable there. "Do you have any idea what science pronouns would be?" That was, of course, the big question, and Carlos's proud face vanished to be replaced with a shrug and a frown.

"Not yet?" They half asked, wrapping their arm around Cecil's back. "I mean, I know a lot of things that probably wouldn't work - Utonium, Helium, any of the noble gasses, to be fair _any_ of the full names of the elements on the table, the quadratic formula..." Carlos listed off various things, counting on their fingers as they did so.

"What about... the abbreviations?" Cecil asked, thinking hard. He tended to struggle with this part of science. He considered himself the kind of scientist that liked to make things blow up or change colors or do cool things, and generally had a distaste for all the _remembering_. There were far too many complicated formulas to memorize. He didn't feel it made him a bad scientist, however, as memorization and understanding have always been separate things, and just as not being able to memorize well lacks the ability to make someone as unintelligent, it also lacks the ability to make someone as a scientist.

"I don't think anyone would want to use CaCO3 as a pronoun." Carlos chuckled. It took them a moment to realize Cecil hadn't gotten the reference they were making, so they kept on quickly. "Uh, CaCO3 is calcium carbonate, which is mineral prevalent in the sands not only in Night Vale but also in the desert void and, you know, since this whole thing started because stone people, and it's a rock..." Carlos smiled sheepishly, happy to see it had finally connected together in Cecil's head.

"That was a _very bad_ pun, Carlos." Cecil shook his head. "But I mean, not just those, but other abbreviations. What's a thing you use a lot in the lab? A system or a designation or anything, really? Anything you abbreviate? Abbreviations would be easy to work into a sentence." He watched Carlos think for a long, long moment, the scientist's brow furrowed slightly, lips pursed.

"Celsius." Carlos eventually said. They nodded, sagely. "I like Celsius."

"As a pronoun?" Cecil asked, unsure. It was a bit long of a word. He could try, of course, he would definitely try, but it was a mouthful to get around. "Celsius, Celsius's, celsiuself?" He had to speak slowly, work his mouth around the words carefully, form the right, because if Carlos wanted he would use Quetzalcoatl as a pronoun by god he would use it and use it well, and this was no different.

"No no." Carlos chuckled, shaking their head. "Degrees Celsius is generally abbreviated as Degrees _C_. Use that - C. Not only is it part of degrees Celsius it's the letter used for the element carbon, which above all else is the basest of human life and organic matter, as well as part of the air we breathe in and out. As a scientist giving recognition to not only the metric unit of temperature but also to the element that creates life by using it as a pronoun would be an honor." They beamed, proud, like a new parent, safe and happy and feeling _amazing_. "Spell it... with two Es. Cee. Cee, uh..."

"Cer?" Cecil continued, hopeful. "Somewhere between Her and Sir?" Carlos nodded.

"Cee, cer, cerself." They smiled. "I like it. I like it a lot. It means a lot."

"Then as you say it, so shall it be." Cecil smiled.

"Thank you." Carlos held their boyfriend close, pressing their face against Cecil's chest. Cecil smelled like detergent and old, musty electronics and electricity in the air after a thunderstorm. "It means a lot that you're still here after all of this."

"Where else would I go?" Cecil ran his hands through Carlos's mussed hair. "I have nowhere else I want to be than next to you. My scientist." His tone was sweet, affectionate, and soft. "My perfect, imperfect scientist."

 _~o~o~_

 _"Listeners, I know I have spent many a night regaling you all about my wonderful sciencefriend Carlos, but, well, it seems that cee is making some kind of breakthroughs in science today, and I can't help but talk about cer!"_


	4. Scientific Method

_"What a day, what a day. Listeners, I am overjoyed to tell you the rain has stopped. It is now safe to leave your homes, though please be aware you may still encounter puddles in the streets. I cannot tell you whether the acid in those puddles has been rendered inactive, so please be careful not to step in them. The streets will probably stop bubbling within a few hours, and you can return to your regularly scheduled driving. Tune in next for the hiss and groan of acid probably still eating through your ceiling and into your home. Goodnight, Night Vale, Goodnight."_

 _~o~o~_

It felt good to be back in the labs again. Carlos had taken the day off after cer pronoun revelation, spending the time in cer personal lab in the master bedroom of cer house with Cecil. Cee had some specific samples cee wanted to study cerself - mostly from a strange, non-flowering cactus that smelled like strawberry syrup and felt wet to the touch - without having the other scientists looking over cer shoulder at every moment. But it felt honestly good to be back in the labs proper, with all the right equipment pieces and the flasks and the notes and everything.

Cee had gotten there much earlier than anyone else, eager to get a head start on the day. The notes hadn't changed much on cer projects - for this, cee was thankful as it meant no one else had fucked around with cer experiments - and the other's experiments were in full force. The labs were a massive comfort for the scientist, especially when they were empty and quiet. The low hiss of gas fed flame and the hum of moving machines was all the sound cee needed in cer workspace to make it come alive. It smelled of hot chemicals and carbon, almost like ozone in some places, with hints of cleaner and bleach. It was decadent and lovely to cer, filling cer nose with science.

Cee was one with this place now, identifying as science and all. Cee was more than just a scientist, and it felt _wonderful_.

Cee heard the doors click, the quiet murmur of talking, and cee turned to see cer collegues heading in through the doors. They were talking and laughing among themselves, but when they saw Carlos standing at a Bunsen burner with goggles on cer head and a hearty smile on cer face, they stopped. Cee heard them mutter to each other for a moment, harshly, almost a bit angrily, before they dispersed in every direction other than the one that led to Carlos. They buried themselves in work, not saying anything when they did have to pass cer, leaving cer alone at cer table.

"Hey," Carlos tried, when one of them passed cer. They kept moving, blatantly ignoring cer. Cee tried again, and again, failing each time as each new lab tech in turn turned away or kept walking in order to ignore cer. Cee finally stopped, stock still in the middle of the lab, fists at cer side. Enough was fucking enough.

"Hey!" Carlos was loud, but not yelling, just projecting enough to get everyone's attention. They eventually looked up, most looking bored or unimpressed with the scientist. "I don't know what's going on, but can _someone_ talk to me about it? I know there's something going on with you guys, and I know it has to do with me. I just want to talk about the _Loxodonta africana_ in the room instead of ignoring it, because this weird hostility and silence makes this place unpleasant for everyone, and I'm not going to have it." Cee paused, and there was no answer from anyone, just a dead, unforgiving silence. "Look, I'm still the head scientist. This isn't a friendly request. This is my lab and I won't tolerate hostility towards _anyone_ in my labs, and I can and will start taking drastic measures if you won't just talk to me."

"You want to know why we're ignoring you?" One of the techs stepped up - A young man, someone who Carlos didn't immediately recognize, with strawberry blond hair and dark, foreboding eyes. "Because you're a freak of nature." He had a devil in his smile and a poison tongue, and it was immediately clear he knew how to hurt Carlos. "We heard him talk about what you think you are - the radio host, your _boyfriend_ \- and god, it's insane. Either it's true, and you are somehow a non-tangible thing as a _god damn gender_ and therefore _you're_ the most scientifically interesting thing in this fucked up nightmare of a town, or it's not true, and you're lying, probably for attention after you realized your little mystery adventure in god knows where only made one person worried at all, and no one cared that you returned. We've agreed between ourselves it's probably the latter, and you're an attention seeking whore. Unless you want us to lock you up and run you through all this equipment." The tech grinned, and that above all things was the most unsettling, but the words stung deep wounds into Carlos. The scientist stiffened where cee stood, fists tight, forcing back the thick feeling of tears in his throat.

How _dare_ he, Carlos thought to cerself, how _dare_ he talk about me, or this town, or my _boyfriend_ that way? It hurt, god it hurt so much, to just think about those words. Either cee was a freak, or a liar, and it churned in Carlos's gut. "Do you all think this way?" Cee asked, voice dark and stiff, hoarse with repressed emotion. "Or is it just you?"

"It's all of us." The blond spoke, and Carlos watched in horror as every scientist behind him nodded. Some were more meek, probably forced into agreement, others honestly believing they were right. Carlos stepped forward, which was a lot more than the blond expected off cer, and it showed.

"Hypothesis: Not everyone in the lab agrees with your diagnosis, and some may only be answering as you want because they're under duress. Prediction: If I asked everyone individually, I would find some of them more frightened of you than they are confident in me. Testing: Ask, and observe reactions, keeping in mind much of the results I'm after will be hidden in your presence." Carlos stepped forward again, until cee was eye to eye with the blond. "Observation: You answered for them, giving me a clear sign that you don't trust them to answer for themselves. Some of their eventual agreeing head gestures were not confident, giving me a clear sign that this answer was not their preferred one." Carlos watched the blond young man frown, but not falter at cer words. "Second observation: You are irritated that I'm speaking on this subject, because your irritation only started when I mentioned I noticed the meekness of my employees. This means their meekness as a tell displeases you, which means their confidence in you and your ideas is what you desire." Carlos crossed cer arms, stronger now that cee knew cee had the upper hand.

"Conclusion: You threatened _my_ employees, attempted to dismantle _my_ happiness and harrassed me in _my_ own lab, and you are not fit to work in this establishment. Secondary conclusion: Get the fuck out of my lab." And cee pointed at the door with one steady hand. And cee thought that would be enough, thought that maybe if cee was strong and steady the threat would leave, but instead all cee got was a laugh in return.

"You think you're just going to chase me out, big man?" The blond grinned. "I'm not so easy to intimidate."

"I wasn't trying to intimidate you." Carlos didn't waver. "I was firing you." Cee was still steady and strong, but it wavered after a moment. The blond in front of him went from cordially creepy to outright threatening in a moment, leaning over the much shorter scientist. He bodily pushed Carlos back a step, then another, giving cer no room to do much than back up until cee was against a wall and the blond was holding him there.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." The blond purred, slamming a hand down against the wall beside Carlos's head. Carlos felt cer breath hitch in cer throat in sudden fear of possible violence against cer. "Let me spell this out as simply as I can. As long as I work here, you're safe. You're safe and your fuckboy radio host is safe and all your precious employees are safe. If you fire me, well... let's just say you'll find you might not need to get cadavers shipped in anymore." The blond was speaking in a half growl, hushed. Carlos's heart seemed to beat audibly in cer chest, rapid and hot, making cer face flush with the amount of blood cer heart was moving. "Besides, you have a quota to meet, don't you? If I leave, they all leave, and you'll be working here alone. And you don't want to fall behind, do you? Don't want that grant money to dry up and leave you penniless, hm?" The blond stepped back, leaving Carlos pressed against the wall like cer life depended on it. "Think on it. We have work to do." The blond left, heading back to his group, a swagger in his step like he owned the place. And as far as he was concerned, he'd just proved he did.

It was easy to tell who in the group didn't want to be there anymore after the blond's display of aggression and dominance over their boss, and Carlos watched several of them give cer apologetic smiles. Only two or three of the scientists were really in on it, cee noticed, and that was good. Even as cee crossed over the peak of cer terror and started to come down from it, cee was thinking. The threat needed to be removed somehow, and cee thought at least cee could keep cer staff out of harm's way. Four people in the lab could still fill the required data analysis quotas, cee told cerself. Cee could give the others a long vacation until cee sorted this miscreant out.

Cee watched as the group headed off deeper into the lab, leaving cer alone in the room. As soon as they left, Carlos slipped to the floor, pressing cer hands to cer face, letting out everything that had been bottled up since the confrontation started. Hot, hiccupping tears slipped down cer face, leaving wet streaks over weeks old scratches and scrapes. Cee curled up against cerself, pressed tightly against the wall, letting it all overflow out of cer like a vinegar volcano science fair project. It was one thing they called cer a freak. It was one thing they referenced cer relationship with Cecil like it was some horrible, monstrous thing. It was one thing that they thought cer a liar and an attention seeking whore. It was another thing entirely that they threatened cer, threatened Cecil and threatened the entire staff when cee spoke up against it. And that posturing, that hand so close to cer head, that vague threat of violence - Carlos was a scientist, and science usually didn't involve this kind of people. Science usually was personal violence free, and the only injuries happened when science went wrong, not because other people were hurtful or forceful.

And no matter how much Cecil regaled Carlos's heroics, cee was no hero at all.

"Carlos?" The sweet, deep voice filtered in from outside, and Carlos immediately fought to quiet the hiccups and the tears, rubbing at cer face with the heels of cer hands. "Carlos, you left your lunch at the house, so I figured I'd bring it by..." Cecil called again. This time he actually stepped into the lab, looking around for a moment before spotting his sciencefriend on the floor. "Carlos!" He dropped the space ship lunchbox he'd packed for his sciencefriend, letting it clatter to the floor and spill the contents as he knelt down. "Carlos, what happened?"

"I'm fine." Carlos said, softly, and then again, louder. "I'm fine, Cecil, I'm fine. Please." Cee pushed Cecil's hovering hands away, and the radio host sat back on his heels. "I'm fine."

"Carlos." Cecil purred, comfortingly, shifting to sit next to the other. He wrapped arms around Carlos's shoulders carefully, using his own sleeve to dry the scientist's face. He didn't need to really say anything. Carlos sat sort of stiffly for a moment, letting Cecil wipe cer face, before letting cerself feel the emotions processing through cer system and finally letting out a sniffle. Cee leaned over, curling up against Cecil's chest, and cee did not so much cry as let cerself feel scared and sad and hurt and all the things cee didn't want to feel.

They stayed like that for what seemed like a very long time. Cecil said nothing, just letting Carlos work out whatever cee needed to work out, holding him tightly all the while. Eventually, Carlos spoke. "They don't believe me. They think I'm either a freak or a liar." Cee said, softly. "I tried to fire what I think is their ringleader, but he threatened me, and the rest of the staff, and-and you." Here cee hiccupped, the fear of losing Cecil the most frightening part. Cee could deal with getting cer staff out of the way, and cee could deal with his own physical harm - even though in the moment cee was, and would be, very frightened all the same - but the idea that anyone would hurt Cecil and take cer boyfriend away was so much worse than all of those things combined. "I can't fire him. I-I'm going to give the others not involved a vacation, so they can... can be safe, but... he wants to hurt you." Carlos shook cer head, sitting back against the wall and roughly wiping cer face. "I can't let him. I can't."

"Don't worry about me." Cecil said. "I'm may not be a scientist, but I'll be fine. I am, at least, very into science." He smiled, and eventually Carlos smiled back. "Let me get your lunch and we can go back to the studio together. They can't bother you when you're there. We can just say you're still healing - which you are, probably - and you needed to take the rest of the day off. And when you've got a good plan and you feel up to it, you can come back. Take a step away from the situation, address it, and come back at it full on."

"I do want to run some tests on those cabinets of yours." Carlos said, smiling brightly. "Measure the teeth and see if I can run cameras into the internals." Cee nodded, getting up. Science was such a good distraction. "I can gather a few things here and then still get work done there." Cee started taking instruments and putting them in a worn, black backpack. "And then if we're both there, he can't hurt you either. At least without me intervening."

"I told you, don't worry about me." Cecil chuckled, gathering up the lunch items back into the lunchbox. "I have my own ways of dealing with things like that. Nothing I could really talk about, of course, but I have a few non government sanctioned things up my sleeve." He stood, putting the lunchbox in the offered backpack. "Maybe it includes a few beings that call themselves angels. Who knows?"

"Scientifically speaking, no one knows." Carlos smiled, zipping the bag. "Thank you, Cecil."

"Come on, let's go before they notice you're gone."

 _~o~o~_

 _"Dear Listeners, I have, in my short life, witnessed many things. Some I can tell you about, and others are private, but there are few - and generally far between - that leave me appalled beyond reason. I cannot, in good conscious, give you the details, but let me tell you, the things I know..."_


	5. Falling Slowly

_"It has been one of the most exciting days in the history of Night Vale. The community helicopter, donated by the Night Vale chapter of the NRA and co-oped briefly by the Faceless Old Woman, has been returned to its rightful place, and citizens can now rest safely knowing that a disembodied older women who, as we all know, none of us can actually_ see _, is no longer trying to use real weapons against us. It is very comforting to know that the town was prepared for the siege and held ground well, and to all of those that used their telekinetic powers to divert bullets, I thank you. The rest of you also did a wonderful job not getting shot. Tune in next for what you think is the unmistakable sound of automatic rifles but is actually the refrigerator, or traffic, or anything else but guns. Goodnight, Night Vale, Goodnight."_

 _~o~o~_

Carlos had decided, against all better judgment, to just stay home for a while. Cee was feeling remarkably better in terms of cer injuries, and there was very little excuse for it - but here cee was, holed up in cer personal labs, quietly poking at things with limited equipment. Of course, the first day or so had been fine - Cecil had been right, cee had a clearer head when cee was away from the office and could look at the problem from the outside, and cee had a _lot_ of paperwork to do and could easily do it from home, with Netflix on in the background - but after the second day, cee had started to get messages, and it was becoming apparent that just hiding wasn't good enough. Cer lab techs would call and sometimes they'd have important science notes, sometimes they would leave bullying, personal messages about how Carlos was acting like a child and no wonder cee thought cee was _science gender_ if cee was acting so childish and the etc, and sometimes all Carlos would hear would be screaming. High pitched wailing, tortured and loud, for as long as the machine would let them record it, sometimes going up to five full minutes without breath or break.

Cee hadn't checked cer messages in two days. The light blinked at cer threateningly.

Maybe it would be better, cee thought, to just go back. Cee had no idea if the screaming was real, or if it was just faked for cer torture, but either way it needed to stop, and going back was the solution. Cee couldn't risk the lives of precious science techs, not like how Cecil risked the lives of his interns. Cee was a better person than that. Cee valued lives, especially scientist lives. While everyone was a scientist at some point in their lives, it was hard to find and keep the ones that stayed scientists forever.

The phone rang, and Carlos shifted away from the receiver, poking listlessly at the cactus cee had been studying without result. All of cer good experiments were in the office, too, and this cactus was beginning to bore, as it responded to absolutely nothing, and could have been mistaken for a plastic toy if Carlos hadn't explicitly tested it's makeup and found that it was organic. Cee looked up as the phone flipped to machine, and considered leaving the room to avoid the screaming.

 _"Carlos_." It was the male intern's voice, the one that had devoted himself to making sure Carlos was outright miserable in the labs. " _Here's the deal, boy-o. Come into the office tonight, or those screaming lab techs I have downstairs stop screaming for good. It's just so much more fun when you're here, and they_ miss _you. Don't let them down."_ The machine beeped. Carlos sighed heavily, put cer head in cer hands, and sat down in cer chair, which rolled away dramatically. This was it - this was the shit cee had been waiting for, and it was hitting the fan. Of course cee didn't think the intern - which, Carlos realized, may not even be an intern, but cee assumed the boy was as cee didn't recognize his face - would actually legitimately _kill_ anyone in the office, but it was a heavy threat all the same.

"Okay, okay." Cee was talking to cerself, leaning back in the chair far enough that the bloodstone suspension had to kick in to keep it from toppling backwards. "I can't keep doing this. This is _stupid_. I'm just hiding, and they're right, it's childish. I'm their _boss_. I should just go in there and fire them all! Fuck that guy for thinking he runs the labs. I'm just gonna... Go in there and do it." Cee nodded, before putting cer hands on cer face again. "But ohhhh I don't think I could stand that mocking anymore. They're so sure they're right, and I can't fight that. Not when they're so sure. It's like they have a shield of _self sureness_ that I just can't _get through_..."

Cee paused, sitting up suddenly enough that the bloodstone suspension didn't have time to switch off, therefore pushing the back of the seat up and over and launching Carlos like a small child on an inflatable raft, sending the poor scientist to the floor. Cee jumped up immediately, righting cer glasses before throwing a finger in the air like a proper discoverer. "That's _it!_ I just need to prove them wrong like a good scientist! I need _sources!_ I need... my face is bleeding." And indeed, cer face was bleeding, a small gash on cer forehead from the toss to the floor reaching cer eyes. Cee blinked back the blood. "I need to wash my face. _Then_ I need to check the internet. Because the internet is always right about everything."

The bathroom was right off cer lab, and was within easy reach. Cee was actually excited for once, actually happy, because cee had a weapon, and cee could use it effectively. Cee padded into the bathroom, babbling to cerself about where to look next, reaching for the toilet paper to dab at cer head, only looking in the mirror when cee had fetched it. The babbling stopped immediately, cer mouth open wide in a near scream at what cee saw. The mirror captured Carlos's face, pale now, blood dripping down cer face , hair tousled roughly, and behind cer, the outline of a man, no eyes or nose but with _teeth_ , horrifyingly white against the dark shape, shark like, _grinning,_ but when cee spun around no one was _there_. The room was empty, but the shadow remained in the mirror, shifting with cer, moving to just over cer shoulder, the teeth so bright cee could almost feel the cold on cer neck, and then there _was_ cold, like a hand, and cee _screamed_. Cee screamed and bolted from the bathroom.

The main room was quiet, and cee paused there, the light bright around cer, and cee could breath. But then cee looked up, saw cer reflection in the mirror, and those _teeth_ were still there, still just over cer shoulder, bright and smiling and then they split, inexclipably, parting like they were about to bite, and Carlos shrieked again, trying to back up so quickly cee fell.

And then, with a hiss and a pop and a near shower of sparks, the lights went out.

In the darkness, it didn't matter where cee looked, the teeth were always just right there in cer peripherals, slightly parted now, the dark hiding the human shape so just the pearly white of the teeth were even visible, and it moved with Carlos, always closer, always a little more parted, and it didn't matter when Carlos went for the lights as they had completely blown. Cee ducked behind the sofa, but the teeth were still there, above cer, with cold hands reaching for cer shoulders, and cee scrambled back, reaching over the counter above cer head for something, anything, and pulling back a cell phone.

At least that gave cer something.

 _~o~o~_

"Now, listeners." Cecil chided the microphone, a chuckle in his voice. "You should all know that bloodstones are _not_ to be placed in water for any length of time. I've heard recently of some people thinking, hey, I could make my personal bloodstone circle into a prayer wheel, and, well, let's just say you should stay away from the Desert Creek housing district for a few days. Remember kids, blood is thicker than water, and bloodstones require viscous material _only._ Now, as for what actually _counts_ as viscous, well- hold on, listeners, my phone is buzzing out of my pocket. It's... it's Carlos." Cecil paused, phone now in hand, the poor battered Nokia humming delightedly. Carlos knew better than to call during a show, of course, so Cecil was immediately worried. "Just, hold on a second, listeners. I need to take this."

He pulled away from the mic, which was more out of sheer habit than anything else, as the new mics in the studio could pick up any sound made within the building, so the listeners, by definition, could hear both sides of the conversation easily. "Hello? Carlos?"

"C-Cecil." Carlos's voice was shaking, quiet, almost in tears. "Cecil, something is in the house."

"What do you mean?" Cecil stood, his chair rolling away before he could push it, rolling to his desk on its own like a properly cared for chair should. "What's in the house?"

"I don't- it has _teeth_ , Cecil, just _teeth_ , sharp and-and bright and it always knows where I am, and it's dark in here, Cecil, and I don't-I don't know what to _do_." It was easy to tell Carlos had gotten the scare of cer life out of this, and was probably in pain.

"Can you- can you come to the station?" Cecil had started offering up the station as a means of escape for the scientist, and it usually helped, as security was intense there and it was always nice to have company in bad times.

"No I- I tried to leave and something went for my hand. It's- I have my eyes closed, and it seems to stay away when I'm not _looking_ , so I can't see my hand but I-I have the distinct feeling it wanted to take it off my arm." Carlos, on the other end, shifted the phone against cer shoulder and clutched cer hand closer to cer chest, the blood coming full force, the shreds of what was once a hand staining cer lab coat a deep crimson. "It won't- I open my eyes and it just _hovers there_ , all teeth and it's like... I don't know, I've just... I've seen those teeth before, Cecil."

"I'll- Look, Carlos. I'm coming home, okay?" Cecil was already shifting his things around, phone to his ear with his shoulder, packing his bag with as much medical equipment as he could reasonably take from the supply cabinet, which was honestly much more than he would ever need. "I'll be right there, okay? Just don't- Don't go anywhere." And there was so much concern that Carlos would try and leave and something horrible would happen, something worse than being trapped forever in another world, something much more horrible than that, and Carlos understood.

"Just be careful." Carlos murmured, soft. "I'm going to... I'm going to try and get outside. I don't think the door will open any other way. I'll meet you in the driveway." Cecil could hear cer shift against the phone, probably standing, swearing as cee bumped into something solid in the dark. "I love you."

"I love you too." Cecil heard the phone on the other end click, and he rushed for the mic, audibly fumbling with the equipment for a moment, hands shaking, afraid. Afraid he'd lose Carlos again, afraid of this new danger in their house, afraid that he wouldn't be able to beat this like they'd beaten other evils. He cleared his throat.

"Listeners, I... I need to run a quick errand. In the meantime, I bring you... to The Weather."

 _~o~o~_

 _Take this sinking boat and point it home  
We've still got time  
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice  
You'll make it now_

 _(A/N: The Weather featured is Falling Slowly by Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova.)_


	6. Permanent Upgrade

_Falling slowly, eyes that know me  
And I can't go back  
Moods that take me and erase me  
And I'm painted black  
You have suffered enough  
And warred with yourself  
It's time that you won_

~o~o~

Cecil had found Carlos collapsed in the driveway, just like cee said. The scientist was curled around cer right hand, which was no more than a bloodied stump at that point, and cer arms were riddled with open wounds. Cecil ran to cer, bent over, hands hovering over the dark, bloodied hair, unsure that the medical supplies he brought would even be helpful. "Hey." Carlos didn't open cer eyes, but smiled all the same. "I got outside. Is it gone?"

Cecil looked up and around, seeing nothing. His eyes strayed to the open door, and he saw a flash of white in the dark gloom of the house, and the door slammed shut. "It's inside. You're alright out here." He pulled the scientist into his lap, supporting cer shoulders so he could look at cer hand. "Did it... do this?"

"It didn't want me outside." Carlos chuckled, amazed now that the terror was wearing off but the pain was still at bay. "I think it wanted me stuck inside forever, so I could suffer it. I tried to open the door the first time and it snapped at my hand, and when I went back it felt like it was trying to rip my arms off." Carlos opened cer eyes, finally able to see cer hand, or what was left of it. Where there had been five dark fingers, there was mostly blood and torn flesh. It was obvious to both of them that most of Carlos's hand probably wasn't going to be able to be saved. "I think sheer willpower was what got the door open, honestly. The whole thing was like it was responding to my fear, like the more scared I was the more it could hurt me."

Cecil hummed, listening but also on the phone. "Well, right now I need someone to respond to the emergency line so we can get you to a hospital. I'm on hold." He said. Carlos waved cer partial stump like it was no big deal.

"I can fix it myself, Cecil. I'll be fine. I'm a _scientist_." Cee chuckled, a little woozy from the blood loss but otherwise feeling okay, the pain only a tingle of a memory amid the endorphins.

"No you can't. Not when that's your stitching hand." Cecil chided, running a comforting hand through Carlos's hair. The scientist hummed in agreement. "Ah, _finally_. Hello, yes, I need an ambulance. My house. You know, with the big purple doors. Yes. That one. Go there. Mmm. Enough to lift a person. No, no one was poisoned. No, no one was irradiated, either. Okay, thank you." Cecil hung up the phone, letting the silence linger for a moment. "They're on their way."

"I'll be fine." Carlos repeated, face twisting a little as cee moved cer hand and the pain started to filter its way into cer brain. "There is nothing a - ow - disembodied set of shark teeth can do to me or my hand that would make me not okay." Cee nodded, shifting a bit and clutching cer hand to cer chest tightly. Cecil shook his head, pressing a soft kiss to Carlos's forehead in response.

"Let's just see what the doctors say, okay?"

~o~o~

The Doctors had good news, and bad news.

"The good news is most of your bone structure is intact." The Doctor, in a clean lab coat - Carlos was somewhat jealous as cer coat was currently going through its fourth wash at the house to remove all that blood - and smart glasses and with a smart pointy stick was currently showing them x-rays on a backlit screen in Carlos's hospital room. "You have a small hairline fracture in your radius near your carpals, but that shouldn't even need a bandage and with limited use it'll heal on its own, and you have two small fractures in the metacarpus for both your ring and pinky fingers, but those would just need to be braced." He paused. "If you kept the hand, anyway."

"What do you mean, _kept the hand?_ " Cecil was sitting by Carlos's bedside, clutching cer good hand tightly, and those words had him puffing up like an angry Persian cat.

"Well, that's the bad news. Most of the ligament structure in between your metacarpus, around your phalanges and around your carpus structures are beyond repair. The amount of sheer tissue and muscle that is just _gone_ is astounding, and the rest is too frayed and torn to repair. Let your hand heal as is and you'll have a bunch of bones that can't move on the end of a stump." The doctor collapsed his smart pointy stick like he'd been practicing it.

"So bone hand is a no go. Okay." Carlos nodded, like the idea of having a hand that was just bones was an honest option, and that it had only just been scratched off the list of Things They Could Do.

"What are cer options?" Cecil asked. The doctor was, momentarily, caught off guard by the use of Carlos's preferred pronoun, but being a professional doctor in Night Vale meant he'd heard a lot weirder things, and quickly controlled himself. Nothing would ever startle him more than the one young woman he had that spoke in tongues. And by spoke in tongues he meant that she literally spat out tongues when she tried to speak.

"Well, the option I'd most endorse is the re-growth of the hand. We have the kind of technological magic we'd need to use muscle graphs from the back of Carlos's leg to more or less re-grow muscle for the hand. It would take a while, maybe a year, before the hand structure would be complete, and it would take physical therapy to see if the nerves even took and you can still use the hand. But it is the _safest_ option."

"Too much time." Carlos waved the doctor off with cer bandaged stump. "Don't have it. What else?"

"Well, uh." The doctor was honestly more caught off guard by the rushed sort of tone in Carlos's voice, because he had no idea what was going on at the scientist's office and had no idea what was at stake. Lives were, of course, and only really Carlos knew that. Important lives. Science lives. "There's an experimental option that we haven't really gotten to _test_ on anyone - most people like being told they don't have to go to work for a year but still get paid - and it's not FDA approved and we honestly have no idea if there will be complications, but..." He paused a moment, waiting for any kind of backtracking protest but instead was greeted with needy curiosity from Carlos, as the world _experimental_ triggered a reaction in the scientist that was part sheer want, and part need to understand. "Well, first, we'd amputate what was left of the hand down to the wrist, and then the rest of the procedure would be attaching a metal stump to the nerves, where you could then attach a hand that would mechanically connect to the correct nerve bases and could, theoretically, be used as though it were a real hand."

"So basically, a robot hand." Cecil nodded. Robot hands were uncommon, but he'd heard good things about them.

"Yes, but more sophisticated - it should respond to nerve impulses as though it were a real hand, unlike the limited range you would get from your usual robot hand, but it wouldn't bring back pain or feeling like a _real_ hand could." The Doctor was trying so, so hard to turn them _off_ of the robot hand, and he was failing at it with flying colors.

"So it would be work safe and I wouldn't need a safety glove for it. That's a plus." Carlos nodded, now more enthusiastic.

"I should warn you - from the use I've heard outside of Night Vale, I've been told the process of attaching the hand to the stump is usually painful, and the only other person who opted in for the procedure here died from the pain of attaching the stump." The Doctor fiddled with the pointy stick, as this was his last deterrent.

"Was this person a scientist?" Carlos was pressing, and the Doctor shook his head.

"No, not that I-" He didn't get to finish.

"Then that's not an issue. I'll be fine. Scientists are always fine." Carlos grinned. "I just have one question."

"Yes?"

"Can I keep the hand?"

~o~o~

Cecil pressed his head in his hands. The procedure went well, and Carlos was sleeping, and everything was peachy to everyone else. But Cecil couldn't get it out of his head. He'd been outside the Operating Room the entire time, and all he could hear was _screaming_. Carlos had been _screaming_ , like cee was _dying_ , because every single nerve they connected felt pain, and cee wasn't allowed to be asleep because they had to make sure that every nerve _could_ feel pain, because any nerve that couldn't didn't work and that was _bad news bears_. So Cecil spent a good four hours just listening to cer scream and scream and scream before they wheeled cer out, sans hand but with new metal stump for a right wrist.

Cecil didn't care if he was reeducated over and over and over, he'd never forget that sound.

"Hey, you." Carlos murmured, awake, looking so, so tired, but otherwise alright. "Everything okay?"

"I'm fine. How are you?" Cecil was immediately attentive, because his sciencefriend was awake and nothing else needed to matter right then. "Are you feeling okay? Are you in any pain?"

"A little tingly." Carlos sat up, pushing cerself up with cer stump and wincing at it. "A bit sore. Kinda like an old scar when it's still got the pressure pains." Cee nodded. "It still feels like I have a hand there, like I can feel it move even though it's not there."

"They said your prosthetics would be here soon." Cecil slipped closer, taking the metal stump in his hands. The plating wrapped around Carlos's wrist, giving cer an inch of metal stump over the end of cer arm, and at the top where a hand should be was a disk, about the size of the stump, separated from the metal plating by lots of short little rods. Carlos looked at the stump, and the disk piece moved around as though it were a real wrist. "And they've found a suitable jar for the old hand." Cecil frowned. "Please tell me you'll keep that in the labs."

"Aww. You don't want my spare hand to hold at night?" Carlos teased, pressing delighted kisses to Cecil's cheeks and forehead. Cee was honestly just happy cee still had a working limb, and wouldn't be out of the office for a year, and wouldn't have all cer scientists killed because of it, _and_ cee was now even more science than cee was before because cer hand was top of the line robotics. Cecil responded with a tired smile, because no matter how much the screaming still echoed, a happy Carlos was probably the best thing Cecil could wish for.

The doctors arrived a few moments later with several attachments on a tray. There were two hands - one was fleshy, and had a silicone covering, and sort of actually felt like a real hand and had internal structures that would keep it warm when it was attached so it would feel real to everyone else no matter what; the other was a dark silver, the same sort of gunmetal as the plating, and slightly larger - and several other strange looking attachments. There was a grabby looking claw attachment with rubber tips, a complicated looking set of things that were hard to recognize immediately but included a lot of metal and what looked like a bit of stone, and another grabby attachment that was a little more oblong and a lot less claw like. There was also a large, almost gauntlet like cylinder. Carlos immediately went to touch _all of them_ , immediately understanding. Cecil was a little more confused.

"So... two hands." Cecil asked without asking, and Carlos was suddenly talking quickly, too excited to slow down and explain proper.

"So on one hand," Cee giggled furiously because cee could _never_ have made a better pun, "we have a silicone covering and internal heaters for everyday use, so I can touch people and they won't freak out because my hand is cold. On the _other_ hand," Cee giggled again, " we have the same steel coating so it's more lab safe, meaning I can actually stick my hand into places that I honestly couldn't otherwise and not hurt myself, and while it'll be cold to the touch it won't melt, which is super _neat_. Then there's a flask grabber-" Cee lifted the grabby hand with rubber tips, "- because holding hot flasks or beakers with the silicone hand will melt the silicone but the metal hand won't grip it well enough cause it's not like I could feel it slip so this will be _perfect_ for a lot of the grabby tasks, and then there's this thing-" Cee lifted the complicated metal work piece that honestly could have been mistaken for a piece of art, "- which is actually a really cool flint and steel setup so I can literally light things _on fire_ without risking my hands," Cee demonstrated by flicking the two pieces together, and they sparked with a satisfying grating sound, "and then finally there's this _other_ grabber which is rubber coated and made for test tubes because they're smaller and weird shaped and the first grabby one could probably break them pretty easily." Carlos nodded, reaching for the large plate piece.

"That doesn't look like an attachment." Cecil commented, frowning as Carlos struggled at where it needed to go. Eventually cee managed to fit it over the stump, like an arm guard, and it locked into place there.

"It's a guard!" Cee grinned, testing how it moved. "I like it. My arm will be forever safe." Cee nodded, happily. Cecil watched cer fuss around with the attachments for a long moment. This was the happiest the radio host had seen cer since cer return, and it warmed him to see it.

"Try the hand." The doctor urged, sitting on Carlos's other side quietly. Carlos reached for the silicone hand and deftly snapped it into place on cer stump. Cee visibly shivered, like a tingle had gone through cer arm, and then laughed heartily at cer own body's reaction. "Did it feel okay?"

"It felt like someone had shocked my wrist." Carlos tested the movement of the hand. It responded well to cer, the tiniest of movements easy with how it was connected, and cee could probably use it for things like piano fairly easily. "It didn't so much hurt as it felt like all the nerves in my wrist went _ahhhh_ for a split second and then calmed down." The _ahhhh_ sound cee made was an apathetic scream at best.

"It sounds like everything went fine, then." The doctor nodded. "I'd like to keep you for the rest of the afternoon and do a few control tests before you start fiddling around with it." The doctor stood, brushing off his coat. They had, with some pestering, gotten the company that made the hands agree not to charge them for the actual hand itself - leaving only the medical charges which were covered by Carlos's hefty insurance policy required by science - with the consent that, when Carlos fussed around with it (and it was a when, and not an if, as cee already had some alterations in mind) cee would send all relevant test results, data, and anything else over so that the company could use cer experiments to help improve hands for future use. Carlos was, by all concerns, a handy guinea pig.

"Alright by me. Can eating be one of those control tests?" Cee asked, shifting in the bed so cee could get up. "I'm hungry."

~o~o~

" _Well, listeners. I want to apologize for cutting short the broadcast the other day. I had a little, let's say, family emergency to deal with. I don't want to go into too much detail, but, thanks to a little super science, Carlos is doing just fine with cer new robot hand. And yes, for those that are wondering, cee is keeping the old hand..."_


End file.
